Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Impervious Ways of A Toll Bridge

I really hate blogs, and I'll tell you the reason why. It's because people often log on and write down every little detail about their lives for everyone to see. Does ANYBODY need to know what song you had stuck in your head all day? Doubtful. Does the world need to know about the splinter you got on your pinkie toe? Hopefully not. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? No. Just no. Bloggers say "cathartic"; I say pathetic. If you need an audience to know that stuff. Get a dog. Some bloggers in the "blogosphere" know this as a pitfall, and they avoid this travesty of a long, boring journey all together. Yet they jump over one downfall of blogs and fall into a gaping hole of "Random Tidbits in the Life of a Stranger." Maybe this is where my blog would fit in as well. Either way, I suppose that only true friends would read a blog. And that's why people post the story about how his dog peed on the wood floor, and he slipped on it, almost severing off his right pinkie toe on a support beam in his basement. So what does that make me if I'm writing a blog? Cathartic? Pathetic? Desperate? I'm going with all three.

Seriously, these are the times when my composition class comes in handy. Because even though I may not be following proper sentence structure and may not be making any sense whatsoever in following a thought (sorry Mrs. Stauber), I find it kind of a relief to get my thoughts out of my head at times. And even as I stop to "think" what I'm going to write next, I see one of the seven revision rules I should have changed earlier on in the draft. Who's grading me? No ONE! Who's reading this? No ONE! I need to find a pet and fast.

So what? It may be 10:30 P.M., and I, who hate blogs, am writing a blog. So what? I might be dying of heat stroke in Minnesota right now. So what? I have a dog and am writing a blog. So what? I made food today that smelled like puke... and I ate it. The contradictions of life are always so appealing. God does have a sense of humor!

And thus I start on my adventure of the blogosphere.
Act I, Scene I.
"The Impervious Ways of A Toll Bridge"
A thought I've mulled over for some time now and am now releasing to the world to understand (no matter how frivolous it is) is the fact that the term "Toll Bridge," in which a driver of a vehicular machine with wheels has to pay a fee to cross a structure over water, may actually be derived from the old story we know and love that I call, "The Billy Goat's Gruff." You know that story. There are three hungry billy goats in a field. They eat all of the grass on one side of the river and need to have more grass because they probably live in America and want more, more, MORE. But an evil troll guarding the bridge crossing the river demands them a payment. The goats, probably too lazy to just wade across the river, have to use the bridge. Blah, blah, blah, skip a few, ninety-nine, one hundred. I'm pretty sure they all get eaten by the troll.
And voila! T(r)oll Bridge. There you go!

This is just a preview, mind you. There is definitely more to come of random thoughts that stray online. 'Til then, time is pressing. Keep keepin' on!

*Sidenote: Please forgive any grammatical errors. I did not edit this golden lass of an introduction to my blog.

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